How to build a time machine and not screw it up

Published: 2024-11-29
Author: Gerda Ponzel

What if, somewhere in the Universe, there really is a Union that aims to fulfill all human desires? The workers of this union work day and night to fulfill the most complicated, tricky and the most intricate requests: “I want this very boot here,” “I must definitely be in this country,” “Make her stop being mad at me,” “PSP,” “I want to be a rock star!”

Let’s assume that the Union of Wishes works like this: a special agent in the form of a mosquito descends on a person’s shoulder and carefully begins to pump information from the DNA with its sneaky proboscis. Then a special agent passes this information to the top, and there they already know their business. 

The Department of Wishes draws up the application, assigns it a seven-digit number, decorates it with a seal and puts it in a special file marked with a letter that corresponds to the initial letter of the person’s surname. The application is then opened by a focus group:

— Does he really want it?
— Yes. This month he’s sent the request to the universe 7,218 times, 600 of them were sent on Tuesday alone. 
— And what do you suggest?
— It’s a pretty hefty wish, 12GB. We suggest breaking it down into several steps: he wakes up, looks out the window, and hears the bell ring. He runs outside, misses the bus, remembers that he’s forgotten his wallet at home, comes home, and now it’s done.
— All right! Get the creatives. 

The wish is sent onward and gets to the creative department, where specially trained scriptwriters precisely prescribe the algorithm of each action to fulfill the wish. These graphomaniacs are quite jokers: they can write in the script that a passerby who accidentally spills water on you from a hose, should be in a green T-shirt with blue worn letters; then they will write that a miracle will be waiting for you in the form of a ticker on the weather website. Why green? What does the weather have to do with it? They will answer that everything described by them is of fundamental importance in order to remember not only the fulfilled wish, but also all the details that preceded it. Then they will indicate the time for that random meeting around the corner ​​– 14:57. No round numbers, no numerology. Half-torn-off signs, animals accidentally fawning at your feet, ice-covered puddles, a late garbage truck, a bright slogan from a pop-up ad, a medium-stiff cashmere scarf – everything will find a place in the script. 

Another department works to fulfill all the scriptwriters’ instructions: they arrange with the zoo to train the possum, which must at the appointed hour come with a threatening look to the edge of its cage. They explain to a popular platform with TV series to run an ad with that very phrase no later than 3.31 minutes into the video. There are guys in this department who will stand under your windows and water your lawn all night so that the grass can break all records for ripening if the wish fulfillment algorithm demands it. There are even engineers in this department who will quietly damage an electrical wire so that you can trip over that step in the dark. Or damage something else that’s much harder to damage. That’s the scenario and there’s nothing you can do about it. 

And so, The Wish Fulfillment Day comes. 

All the employees of the Union are bustling around, running between departments, giving last orders and solemnly opening the last package of Brazilian coffee. The wish will be fulfilled in 10…9… Everyone takes their seats and holds their breath. 

The alarm clock rings, the person looks at the clock and selects the option “Repeat the signal in 10 minutes”.

The whole department breathes a sigh of relief because the performers will have a full 10 minutes to prepare the following scenes: to hide a sock, launch mold bacteria into leftover Chinese food, make a crack in the teapot, and get all the shoes dirty.

And so, a man who has spent all morning getting ready for work is late for the bus and takes the first cab he can find. The cab driver drives two blocks and sees a sign on the road: “Detour. Repair Work,” which the hard-working wish-fulfillers had been putting up all night. The man jumps out of the car and looks at his watch, figuring out what the likelihood is that he’ll be less late. The cab driver gets nervous and points to the navigator, the man turns his head to the side and sees a huge advertising banner on the road that reads “Think Different.” He opens the cab door with a sudden movement, picks up his briefcase and runs down the highway towards the advertising banner. 

The entire wish-fulfillment department looks at the screenwriter with rapt attention, what a dashing idea they have come up with! There are only a few seconds left before the meeting that will fulfill the wish.  

Everything is ready: road signs, dense fog (yes, yes, the diligent performers are even capable of this too), a threatening text message from the disgruntled boss, and an ice-cream van, from the open back of which a box of Italian Gelato will fly right under the man’s feet. 

It is getting quite hot in the Union, the employees, having put aside all their business, are nervously watching what is happening.

Now the man will get surprised and try to shout to the van driver who has not noticed anything. He will open the box, see the ice cream and realize that the technology he invented, which allows you to place advertising brands on the lids of the goods is not so absurd: brands will be happy, and consumers will be doubly happy. 

All that’s left to do is open the box. 

The workers of the wish fulfillment department happily shake hands and congratulate each other on the upcoming bonus and weekend. 8…7…. and this is where something goes wrong. 

Instead of walking further down the highway, the man gets into the cab and drives away. All the employees in the wish fulfillment department get a text message from the head of the Union and line up in front of the door to his office.

………………..

At this point, you will of course say, “What, that’s it? But that’s not how the article should have ended! The man should have realized all the signs of the universe and presented to the world his invention that would make him famous! And the Trade Union, which so originally, through ridiculous worldly trifles, led the man by the hand to his dream, must surely be rewarded! What is wrong with your author?”

Indeed, why doesn’t every reader try on the role of an author and try to come up with the characters, the plot and the ending of the article themselves? 

The editors of The Global Technology magazine present you with a unique opportunity to try to be an author and write an article worthy of a prestigious literary prize on the topic: “How to invent a time machine and not screw it up”. No more and no less.

Let’s give it a try right now! Good luck!


………………….

There must be a character in the article around whom your narrative will be built. Let’s choose the hero of the article.

Heroes of the article:

The hero of the article should end up somewhere interesting. Let’s choose a place where the action of the article will take place.

The action of the article will take place:

Any article is bound to have a plot. Let’s choose one.

To travel through time, the hero of my article:

And any article must have an ending. Let’s choose how the article ends.The hero of the article should end up somewhere interesting. Let’s choose a place where the action of the article will take place.

How the article ends:

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