Category: Materialization technologies
The wardrobe revolution: clothing of 2065
“The future has already come. We just haven’t moved into it yet”
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Dress Code of the Future Has Been Cracked!
Welcome to the Just Bay It channel. We work for you, because of you, and to serve you! Yes, you—because someone like you deserves the very best! Do you agree? Then immediately head to your wardrobe. What do you see? Silk, denim, chiffon, an aerogel sweater? And you still wear that? Take all the hangers and throw them away together with those clothes! Done?! Now throw away everything else too. You don’t need it anymore!
Usual clothes are outdated! They crease and stain when you are wearing them, you’re hot in summer and cold in winter—and there’s no need to tell you how eco-unfriendly they are. Because the carbon footprint of your beloved jeans is visible from space with the naked eye. You deserve more! Your stately figure should be embraced by fabrics as gentle as a baby’s breath, as strong as steel cable, and as functional as a Swiss Army knife!
The future is already here, and it’s accessible to everyone!
Forget about boring clothes! Today, you’ll fall in love with a new absolute of style and quality. Stay with us, and you’ll revolutionize your wardrobe!
Hold your breath. I’m ready to introduce the first object. Are you ready? No, really—are you? Then meet the miracle jacket—the ‘Magnificence’.
This is the only jacket you’ll ever need! You’re guaranteed coolness in summer and warmth in winter. No magic involved! Just carbon nanowires with paraffin microcapsules. Check out the look: the fabric is masterfully styled to resemble synthetic yeast leather. And 3D printing technology guarantees a perfect fit, even if you’re the most luscious empress.
Oops, I’m so clumsy—I’ve just spilled a whole mug of coffee right onto the jacket, so I’ll have to add half a pack of ketchup and a drop of wine. And that’s it—the jacket is completely… clean! Yes, exactly, this jacket is impossible to stain. And if you manage to do so, we’ll refund your money!
You’ll get your refund straight to your bio-interface or AR glasses. By the way, did I mention that with this miracle jacket your off-grid gadgets will always be charged? No? Look, just put the device into this convenient pocket and that’s it: your phone charges itself! Every move you make is transformed into energy. No more dead gadgets on your walk!
But that’s not all. The miracle jacket doesn’t take up space in your closet—it folds into its own pocket and easily fits into the tiniest bag!
Still not enough? Then get ready for the hottest deal: only during the next two hours, if you buy two miracle jackets, you’ll receive four pairs of exclusive “Golden Standard” socks—want to walk dirt roads without dirtying your feet? Go ahead. Don’t want to change socks for two weeks? Keep wearing them—they’ll stay just as fresh as in the first 15 minutes! Holes? Microcapsules instantly repair any damage!
You know, maybe two hours is too long—the editor reports this lot is already half sold. Call us right now!
So, have they already run to call? Excellent, that means fewer competitors for you! For those who dislike rushing, I have a special surprise. Meet: the Planktonot Business Suit for true sharks of the corporate world.
КThe set includes a blazer, trousers, and a shirt. We don’t do repeats on this channel, so I won’t bother to tell you that these clothes are impossible to stain. Even if someone spills toner from a cartridge—like me right now—the items will stay perfectly clean. Instead, I’ll try to crumple the shirt. See what a disorganized mess that is? Now, let’s shake it… And the shirt is perfectly ironed again!
I truly wish you could feel the thrill of touching the fabric to your skin. Throw out the word ‘comfortable’ from your vocabulary—it no longer means anything!
A reminder for everyone who has ear-bleeding excitement: this is a business suit. Biometric sensors embedded in the fabric monitor your stress levels, hunger, and 15 other indicators. Soft vibrations remind you to straighten your posture, and office tech obeys your command with a wave of your hand. Wonderful? No! You haven’t even heard about the “Corporate Star” option yet.
The functionality of the Planktonot suit extends far beyond stuffy offices. With just a twist of your wrist, the trousers are changed to… No! Not to elegantly looking shorts, but to a dance exoskeleton. And not just trousers! The suit’s memory contains ten thousand dance moves: now, you can become the queen of the dance floor without any doping. Just give a voice command and dance like Michael Jackson.
Warning: offer is very limited. This revolutionary outfit isn’t for everyone. Want to become chosen, to rise above the office drones? Call us yesterday! Just kidding! But if you manage to order the legendary Planktonot suit within the next 10 minutes, we’ll deliver it to you at our expense.
By the way, for the chosen ones. Now, the information for those who know how deep the rabbit hole goes and are convinced that in 2025, we dressed terribly! Yes, I’m talking about you, fans of the classic neurometer.
Just Bay It is always riding the wave of fashion, so we know exactly what you’ll want tomorrow. Right after the premiere of the legendary trilogies The Matrix and Back to the Future on neural interfaces, we launched a limited vintage clothing collection. Leave the painful quest for like-minded souls in the past. With the Old Lux series, they’ll flock to you like moths to holographic fire!
But the joy of interaction is only 10% of what you’ll get. The clothing set comes with an unquestionable status of an art and culture expert, obvious to any passerby, not just your grandma and mom. Plus, a sense of duty to humanity is fulfilled, because all items in the collection are made from recycled waste. And that’s me being modest. I haven’t even started on how fantastically comfortable each piece is!
Enough of preamble—let’s return to the future of exquisite fashion! Can your jacket adapt to any body features? No? But “MartyKlein” can!
This model was unacceptably long in coming. Its forecast appeared back in the analog 1989, announced in pre-digital 2016, and only Just Bay It managed to bring it to life. The kind of situation where S, L, XL, and other XXL are just letters, because “MartyKlein” is 100% universal and looks amazing on any figure. A true gift for classic lovers! But who are we to limit ourselves to just one gift? All items in the “MartyKlein” collection can change color depending on temperature, humidity, and UV radiation!
Have I just heard you ask again? Yes, I said everything.
Along with the jacket, we offer you sneakers with auto-lacing, self-adapting insoles, and dynamic cushioning. And softness, and almost weightless? Mmm. Walk wearing them just once, and your other shoes will seem like wooden clogs from dark ages. My daughter even sleeps wearing them! Right during scientific lecture streams from her VR cap.
And this is the next item from the collection: a flexible, latest-generation solar panel, VR, streaming camera, spatial sound, and a cutting-edge hair-drying system. Do I really need to explain why this cap is a must-have? If I had such a cap 20 years ago, I might not even have gotten married! Another joke! A bad one, judging by my wife’s phone call.
I doubt that dear Kate wants to order the full set and get as a gift a splendid double tie-clip assistant in a canonical color with a 150-language real-time translation function, including Quenya, Sindarin, and Klingon.
But what’s stopping you?
Oh, already the third call. Yes, dear. Of course, just kidding. Just a moment…
Friends, I must leave you for two—no, seven minutes. About that much time is needed to sell out the entire “Doc Brown” clothing collection. Don’t wait—call and order right now.
And here I am. I’m wearing a visual metaphor of freedom—”The Chosen One’s Cloak” from the Neo 2065 collection. It’s not what you think. Better appreciate the cut: a long black trench coat to the ankles, with a straight silhouette and sharp shoulders, replacing buttons and fasteners with a flexible posture regulator and a digital parkour and combat trainer.
Now I’ll strike a heroic pose. Yes, straight spine, face showing fierce resolve, and wind dramatically billowing the cloak! Damn! I almost fell in love with myself! Unfortunately, wind isn’t included in the set. Instead, we added the supercloak’s ability to reflect or absorb light. To shine like a star or to hide in the shadows is your choice. But there’s no choice in accessories: where have you seen the Chosen One without sunglasses?
A perfect replica of glasses from the neuro-film will be yours absolutely free! Neo from Matrix would burst into tears if he knew our glasses have maximum UV protection, adjustable tint, shatterproof lenses, and a dedicated 8G channel!
It’s up to you. Don’t want to hear the symphony of admiring sighs? Don’t fool yourself—everyone does. I bet two or three bio-interfaces in the call center will fail from overload today.
And do you know what will never break? Our last exhibit today: the magnificent emerald of modern technology—”Argus-42” glasses. Ancient legends told of all-seeing beings with a thousand eyes. All of this power fits into just two liquid crystal lenses.
See, here they are in a glass of tea. Now I’ll drop them on the floor, step on them with a heel, and jump for good measure. But you can’t be fooled, right? Of course, these glasses will be fine. Even if you bend them into a curve or forget them in a cryogenic freezer. What? Everything’s possible.
What if you want to stay disconnected with the world? What if instant access to all human knowledge irritates you? What if you love wandering the city without clear signs or mentally calculating huge numbers? But why try to destroy something valuable? Activate incognito mode, and you’ll have ordinary glasses. Lies, of course. Very convenient and incredibly stylish glasses.
But these are extremes. The “Argus-42” can be customized to individual needs. For example, if the personal AI assistant mascot annoys you, it can be easily replaced. And there are already over five thousand of them now—twice as many as the previous model.
Also, the manufacturers increased pixel density by 25% and halved response latency! That means virtual became a little more real than real.
Nothing escapes the gaze of “Argus-42”. A quick glance at a building and you already know its history, the architect, menu, cafeteria rating, info on the person at the window table, and even the dirtiness level of the window itself.
Don’t panic! Digital masks are still available! Enable the anti-unauthorized access function with your glasses, and your skeletons will stay in the closet.
Want to sit and stare at them? Or walk beyond boring reality. Why not dine in a restaurant on the edge of the galaxy with Don Quixote and Abraham Lincoln? Or hold a business meeting amidst pterodactyl screeches in Jurassic decor? With a premium VR modules Just Bay It subscription, every ordinary Tuesday will be like that.
“Argus-42” is a powerful career and educational tool. Ban the one who will tell you a myth that these glasses are just a high-tech gadget. Not at all! “Argus-42” isn’t just a mediator between humans and the digital world—it’s part of your perception. An unacceptably cheap part of your perception.
Just twenty more minutes, and you can order our spectacular glasses at a 50% discount. The first ten callers get a free month of all VR and AR modules; the next twenty lucky ones will receive the full package of personal AI mascots.
How are you there? Personally, I’m shocked! There’s never been an easier way to improve your life. You’re just one call away from a new, wonderful life at an absurd price. Want guarantees? Here you are! I give you a one-hundred-day money-back guarantee. If something’s not to your liking, just send the product back, and we’ll refund every penny—without any questions, or hassle!
Don’t postpone your new life! To prevent biting your elbows out of frustration, mentally activate the neural connection with code “Nova-Vita” or send a mental impulse through our open neuro-hub.
What to order? It’s simple—I’ll remind you. Today, you can become the proud owner of the “Magnificence” miracle jacket and “Golden Standard” socks, the “Planktonot” business suit, the “MartyKlein” and “Neo 2065” collections from Old Lux, and the “Argus-42” AR/VR glasses that have no analogues in the world. It’s not fiction—it’s reality, woven into your sensations.
This was Tom Ripley, wishing you happiness! See you next time!
According to the Big Bang Theory, the Great Explosion of discoveries starts right now.
Thank you!
