Kid negotiation strategies

The Talking Parrot Tactic. Daddy, dearest, please. Get me a dinosaur. Get it – get it – get it. No. I won’t leave! I won’t leave – won’t leave – until I see a dinosaur.

Editor’s note from THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY: Forcing someone out of their comfort zone while violating personal boundaries is a shockingly mature combo-solution. The victim will pay even a very high price just to return things “back to normal.” We’re also impressed by the delivery: the repetition rhythm works like a lullaby, lulling the parental “self” to sleep, which allows the manipulator to launch a full-scale offensive.

The Limping Dachshund Tactic. All my toys are old. I don’t have any money to buy something new. I’m still little. I don’t have a job. At least get me a dinosaur, please (eyes fill with clear tears, a tiny hand wraps its warm little fist around your big thumb). I won’t ask for anything else. I promise (almost believe it myself)!

Editor’s note from THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY: The little victim strikes a bullseye by appealing to pity. The urge to protect and help – that parental instinct – activates instantly when this sensitive button is pressed. Bravo!

The Migratory Bird Tactic. Oh yeah? You don’t want to get me a dinosaur? Fine! I’ll ask my sweet mommy instead. You just sit here all alone. Mommy always helps me.

Editor’s note from THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY: Parental jealousy blooms like a fern: everyone knows about it, no one sees it. Be honest (with yourself): what answer from your child would you dread the most to the question “Who do you love more?” Careful now, don’t rush! There are enough dinosaurs for everyone.

Keep Fighting Till Victory! The battle with a stubborn adult will pay off. Modern technology is here to help if the usual-life solution doesn’t result in a fearsome roar of a tylosaurus in the bathtub. IT specialists, psychologists, marketers – a whole army of adult professionals fights on the side of the future dinosaur owner, armed with the latest in science. Hands up!

The Remote Control Tactic. Dad, you there? I’m doing great. Helping Grandma pull up radishes. Dreamed of a dinosaur again last night. Love you lots. Heart emoji.

Editor’s note from THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY: This kind of touching message in the family chat is guaranteed to speed up resolution of the “problem.” Standing ovation. From a distance, dragons appear quite different. Struggling emotionally from separation with their precious child, parents reread that rare “I love you” a hundred times. The emoji-ed declaration didn’t come for free. It came for a dinosaur. In the haze of parental affection, you’re already mentally subtracting the required amount from the family budget. A light victory for the messenger app over parental reasoning.

The Economic “Cancellation” of the Parent Tactic. Don’t want to buy me a dinosaur? Fine. I’ll buy it myself. I’ve saved up on my card. It’s my money. Not yours!

Editor’s note from THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY: Feel the reins slipping from your hands? Yes, they are. The umbilical cord is about to be cut – and not from your side. A child’s bank card is now the main source of joy, replacing you. Blaming a piece of plastic for spoiling your child is silly. Who funded the account and how much? Forgotten already. Smiling and waving at you from the store is your independent heir, who now decides whether or not a tylosaurus belongs in the bathtub. Time to surrender and scan the latest-collection dinosaur at checkout, using the “adult” card with the extended limit. Otherwise, there’s no restoring the good old dependency dynamic.

The Adult-Behavior Mirroring Tactic. It’s not just a toy. It’s educational. I’ll use it for studying. Alone. In my room. I won’t interrupt your phone calls. I’ll learn new things. You did say you wish I’d finally get smarter and start school!

Editor’s note from THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY: Marketers show and tell. Kids watch, parents listen. Marketing techniques reveal the educational potential of Newton’s apple in any plastic ball. A glowing eye, misty breath, pearly scales – this is how children see a dinosaur. Parents are gently led to believe that no one can boost their child’s cognitive and communication skills quite like a rubber “terrible lizard.” Another adult pain point is soothed: the semi-bored child, tired of blocks and squishies, is now “constructively occupied.” A fairy tale for grown-ups with a happy ending for kids. The child has cleverly disguised their “want” as a “developmental activity,” relying on marketers’ cues. Speaking your favorite language – the language of usefulness. Here you go, kid – here’s your dinosaur. For clever thinking!

Some sense of incompleteness remains, doesn’t it? We showed the full arsenal of the little manipulator’s influence tactics, and stayed silent on how to resist. Confession: that was on purpose. The editorial team at THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY firmly believes: if a child fights this hard for a dinosaur, there’s a reason. The spirit of adventure, fresh emotions, unsolved mysteries – think back: what piece fell out of the puzzle of their daily life? That’s exactly what the tailed dinosaur will bring into your home… if no one else does.