Category: Life technologies
How workers of the future will quit without slamming doors
“It’s never too late to become who you might have been”
George Eliot
“Scary as hell!”—that might have been Vladimir Vysotsky’s reaction to the sound of his own synthesized voice. In 2019, technology called VeraVoice managed to bring the legendary Soviet bard back from the sky to his native Taganka Theatre. The neural network “spoke” in Vysotsky’s voice.
Worried that you might be replaced the same way? That’s not what you should fear! The editorial team at THE GLOBAL TECHNOLOGY is infected with techno-optimism. It’s reassuring that even neural networks that can sing in multiple voices don’t compose masterpieces. A diligent student, limited by their abilities, rarely surpasses the Master.
The future, however, points a finger at motivated workers from a completely different angle. Rising from the depths of coming demographic troughs is FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)—the obsessive fear of being “left behind” and missing your chance. The children being born today, too few in number, will become a scarce workforce in a few decades. The “old guard” will also need to stay in the ranks to keep the economy afloat. An excess of supply over demand in the labor market will inevitably turn into a pleasant problem: choosing between a convenient job and your dream position.
Of course, you could slam one door to open another faster. But we wouldn’t recommend it. Intuition suggests that unnecessary noise could harm the image karma of your profile on the planetary blockchain job exchange. To avoid a rating drop, we offer practical and technological tactics for navigating the career seas of compromise.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore”
André Gide
One day, that wonderful morning will arrive when a fortunate headhunter will knock you off your feet with promises of a rapidly advancing career in a new place. The only cloud on your professional joy will be your boss’s unpreparedness to cope with an irreplaceable personnel loss.
To soften the impact you are about to inflict on your employer (the “benefactor,” as he likes to call himself), we suggest stretching out the parting process over time. Begin preparing your manager for the inevitability of your departure in advance. Keep a lucky horseshoe at hand. Here’s what it looks like: U. Yes, just like the Scott-Jaffee change curve. In this psychological model, the trajectory of experience develops from top to bottom in three stages: from angry denial (the starting point) to depression (the lowest point), and then rises toward emotional recovery. Once the “horseshoe” contour takes its complete form, you can confidently leave your workplace. No HR professional will be harmed in the process.
Important! This method is effective only if your new employer is prepared to wait for you with open arms indefinitely—until your “current” boss comes to terms with the inevitable.
If time is money and you don’t want to waste it, you can mention the possibility of polyworking. When you say this word, we recommend stepping a safe distance away from your boss. No manager, no matter how tolerant, can react appropriately to the suggestion of sharing a (priceless) employee. It’s as if you were offering a child’s beloved teddy bear to be placed in the communal toy cabinet at kindergarten. The tantrum will be long, but the tears will dry quickly if the teddy remains just out of reach.
Important! Corporate loyalty, trade secrets—this is only a partial list of the hidden dangers that could derail your “selfish” (quoting the enraged boss) intention to work in a risky “both ours and yours” mode.
There is also a time-tested “grandmother’s” remedy for making the right career decisions. A universal recommendation for all times. Simple and effective: when you reach the handle (the door, that is), don’t rush to yank it open toward yourself. Just as with a blanket that doesn’t always belong pulled in one familiar direction, here you should at least briefly detach from your own desires. Employment relationships are not paused or severed simply because new butterflies appear in your stomach. Beyond the law—or rather, above it—the essence of the contract with an employee is the trust of the entire team that receives you, a trust that must be honored so that the collective work is not harmed.
Important! If the sheer number of zeros in your new employer’s offer makes your heart race, it’s wise to stop the gold rush at the first signs. A helpful thought to keep in mind: you cannot earn all the money in the world.
“Skillful navigation, not simply having a ship, ensures the success of a sea voyage”
William DeMille
If, after all attempts to resolve a brewing conflict manually, the entrance door continues to creak gloomily, we suggest turning to technology.
Modern programs already “know” the right moment to be in the right place—your manager’s office. Applications exist today that can indicate which foot a person got out of bed on. One such app, Face Mood Scanner (developer – ExaMobile S.A.), scans the face and recognizes over forty shades of mood. It is reasonable to expect that in the near future, data on the emotional state of every employee, or at least the management team, will be available within corporate ecosystems. Information that the boss is “not in the mood” will be useful to anyone who knows how to respond appropriately to the warning: “Do not enter, will kill!”
Important! The chance of truly understanding what is going on in the soul of an introverted boss using mood scanners is extremely small. Remember the role pantomime usually plays in meetings. If there is more voice than raised eyebrows or puffed cheeks, emotional trackers can easily lead you into dangerous misinterpretations.
There is a more labor-intensive way to part as friends with a deeply attached manager. Prepare a replacement. Train a corporate neural network in (almost) everything you can do yourself. The result of patient AI coaching will be the birth of your digital deputy. Involving this neural-network novice in the production process will help the organization you are leaving to compensate for the personnel loss.
Important! This plan is not guaranteed to succeed. There is a high risk of the “Uncanny Valley Effect.” The phenomenon was discovered by Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori last century. The “Uncanny Valley” is a zone of negative emotions—fear and disgust—in which a human interacts with a robot resembling themselves. According to Mori, the rejection response to overly anthropomorphic machines is caused by disappointed expectations toward a strange object that, for example, can smile without actually feeling joy. Be prepared for a bout of AI-induced anxiety from your manager when you announce the controversially cheerful news that a robot will take over the work after your departure.
A gentler option for saying goodbye to a sensitive boss assumes that the last word remains theirs. It will be spoken once the manager has carefully studied the results of voluntary neuro-energy mapping. This non-invasive diagnostic method, based on the study of ultra-slow brain electrical activity, allows stress states to be identified in a timely manner. In the future, neuro-energy mapping may become a “portable” tool for neurovisualizing employee burnout.
Important! This method will not be applicable in companies that legally use hypnotherapy for motivational rehabilitation of employees attempting to step away from the corporate fold.
Very, very important! When leaving, hold the door. “No one is irreplaceable?” You may have heard it, but did not believe it. We hope the expression has been taken out of context. Every person is unique to such an extent that even nature itself cannot replicate them. According to Nature Genetics (2021), differences between some identical twins manifest already at the genetic level. As these children grow and develop in society, the differences in character and behavior make it impossible for others to consider them clones.
Do you see where we are going with this? The value of any employee lies in their uniqueness. In this sense, any personnel loss is irreplaceable. By taking responsibility for stepping away from a collective endeavor, the worker of the future will be forced both to push buttons and to summon their full humanity, ensuring that the decision they make is a truly Solomon-like one.
We’ve ventured beyond the boundaries of time and space. By the way, it’s empty there.
Thank you!
